There are many other stereotypes that we are taught; through upbringing, social interaction, media. They come from countless sources. It is my purpose in writing this blog, and others to follow, to challenge those beliefs. It is my purpose to show that true strength comes from not being a "Real" man but from being a Whole Man.I aim to demonstrate that the strength of a "Real" man alone is false, that it is brittle and damaging to a man's psyche and to his ability to sustain a relationship, specifically that of one with the opposite sex (which is another term I have issue with and will discuss at a later date in another blog). I aim to show that it is better to be a Warrior of the Heart than a Soldier of the Mind and Body but also that it is okay to have that within you as well but only as a small part of what makes up the entirety of who one is.
It is not my goal to denigrate or "rag" on those of you who choose to follow the "Real" man philosophy although there will be times that I do point out some of the negative aspects in being merely a "Real" man. My true purpose is to demonstrate the qualities involved in becoming what I call... a Whole Man. To me it is something I hope to one day achieve, this being a Whole Man. The steps I have made along this journey already have freed and liberated me, made me stronger than I had ever thought possible when I still traveled the road that I was told would result in me becoming "all that I can be".
Maybe I was a "Real" man back then, but I certainly wasn't all that I could be. I certainly wasn't capable of sustaining a relationship with an intelligent, beautiful and strong woman like the one I share my life with now. The Whole Man I am evolving into to has learned what is necessary to achieve such a powerful and empowering and lasting relationship.
A man must be tall and strong and unyielding like an oak at times but there are also times he must be supple and flexible like a willow. A willow's limbs can often survive a storm of circumstance that the harder wood of the oak cannot. There are times for men to be the strong silent type, like the oak, and times for us to be the willow, flexible and adaptable, singing the songs of nature as the wind whistles through our branches along the riverbank and in time with the rhythms of the flowing waters.
Yes, in the primordial depths of human existence, we were the hunter/gatherers. We needed to steel ourselves to face the beasts that could slay us with tooth and fang as well as sustain us but we were also born of the mothers, the nurturers and they are as much a part of us still as the hunters and the protectors. Biology agrees with that statement. We consist of X and Y chromosomes yet we are taught to accept only the one and not the other. So, if we are made of both the male and the female then would not the one who accepts both parts of their existence not be more than he who accepts only one.
I will end this, the first of my blogs, on this note. I am not a fighter but I am not a lover either; I am a fighter and a lover, on my way to becoming a Whole Man, not just a Real Man...